The Benefit of the Doubt
Benefit of the doubt, second chances, being understanding, making allowances they sound like such wonderful, caring things. In truth they're toxic phrases designed to prevent you from dating someone who's actually worthwhile.
Like "potential," all of these sound positive. If you're dating someone who's really cool except (he's unemployed, he lives with him parents, he has kids, etc.), but you're giving the "benefit of the doubt" then you are dating someone who you need to make excuses for. You're dating someone who you don't really respect. You're preventing yourself from finding someone who is honestly worthwhile.
And most importantly, you're hurting yourself in a number of ways:
If you're busy dating Mr. BOTD (and dealing with his issues), then you're not spending that time finding Mr. Right.
Along these lines is the idea that many (extremely naive) women have of dating a man because they can "change him." If you're going to date someone and attempt to change them it's much more likely that any change will be for the worst as a reaction to your behavior.
Just a thought.
- "Mr. Nice Guy"